You Can Get It If You Really Want

So you may recall a little trip I took to England last year to see a play and how blown away I was by one David Tennant in the role of Hamlet. If you need a refresher, you can read all about it here: http://becauselifeisshort.blogspot.com/2008/10/full-english-breakfast.html.

Suffice it to say, I've been smitten with this lovely man ever since and, with apologies to Tom Baker, he's even become my doctor. Imagine how excited I was to find out he was going to be in Southern California this week. Now imagine how excited I was to meet him last night in Pasadena! Actually, I don't think you can imagine so I'm going to tell you all about the meeting (as well as all the ninja moves my friend, Kate, and I made to make it happen) in glorious detail here. I'm editing the post even now. Meanwhile, remember that you can get it if you really want!

Prison Break Redux

Well, I guess I know why Michael Scofield had to die at the end of Prison Break. Clearly, it was all an evil ploy on the part of Fox to get me to purchase their DVDs. So far I've only succumbed to downloading some episodes for my iPod, but I have to admit being tempted. Oh, and what did I find while browsing the DVDs online? I found there is something called Prison Break: The Final Break coming out on DVD next month which will fill in the four years missing from the end of the finale. Apparently it actually aired in other countries, but because Fox canceled the show we get only a DVD release here in the U.S. On the one hand, there are a number of shows I wish would have done a DVD release to tie up loose ends. On the other hand, I'm still bitter about them killing off Scofield, which was cheap at best. Now I feel entirely manipulated into purchasing this DVD. I wish I could say that I won't buy it, but what can I say? I'm weak. I have to see what happened. F-ing Fox.

RIP

I'm angry. And a little depressed. What's news about that, you say? While it's true that I'm not exactly a stranger to these emotions, I resent the fact that I'm experiencing them as a result of a television show. TV is supposed to be my salvation, my escape from the monotony and drudgery that is my real life. I watch to be entertained. I watch to be swept up by the excitement and adventure (all from the safety of my couch, mind you) which my real life is lacking. I don't watch to have my heart ripped out, which is exactly what Fox has done. I've been pretty busy lately and am just now getting around to watching all the shows stored up on my Tivo which is why this post is coming so long after the fact.

A few days ago I sat down for a Prison Break marathon with the anticipation that my guys would finally win...they'd bring down The Company, clear their names and all live happily ever after. That's what I've been hoping for these past few years, after all. Knowing this was the series finale, that's what I expected. I was partly right. They did bring down The Company and they were all exonerated. Yea! Happy ending, right? Wrong. Apparently the writers decided that a happy ending just wouldn't do so instead they killed Michael Scofield. The star of the show. The guy viewers like me have been heavily invested in and rooting for throughout the series. They killed him. And I'm really angry. I'm angry because I bawled like a baby. I'm angry because, three days later, I'm still a little bit down about this. It feels a lot like someone I knew died.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, I realize I have unhealthy "relationships" with certain TV characters who happen to be Time Lords, but I assure you this was not the case here. Sure, Wentworth Miller is extremely easy on the eyes and Michael Scofield was a very appealing character, but I was in no way fixated. Until they killed him. I now find myself googling Wentworth Miller to see what he'll be doing next, to check out hot photos of him, mostly--I think-- to confirm that, in spite of Michael Scofield's fate, Mr. Miller is still alive and well and (I hope) living happily ever after.

Either the writing and acting on the show were so well done that I completely bought in or this is just another sign that the line between reality and fiction are becoming increasingly blurred for me. Since the latter undoubtedly points to an impending breakdown, I like to think it's the former. And yet, I feel vaguely used and manipulated. Maybe happy endings are trite, but given the state of the world in which we live, I'll take trite. Plus, considering the preposterous premise of Prison Break, the finale was really not the place for the writers to do anything other than tie things up in a neat little package and let Michael, Link, Sara, et al. ride off into the sunset. Sure it's cliche, but that's all I ever wanted or needed from Fox. Just because you can make your viewers sob is no sign you should.

Wasting Time at Work

In the past week I've been introduced to a couple of great time wasters and I wanted to share.

I admit there is a certain amount of schadenfreude here, but hey, it's nice knowing other people have it worse than you right? Anyway, check it out and I'm sure you'll be addicted like me. www.fmylife.com

I've also been wildly entertained by this site: http://www.stardoll.com/en/dolls/465/David_Tennant.html
What's not to love about a David Tennant doll you can dress up? Of course it really would be better if he came with more outfits. Still, it's a great way to pass the time when your job is boring you to tears.

Mom Really Did Know Best

Ladies, remember when your mom used to tell you it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it was a poor man? Or perhaps it was a great aunt Sally or a good friend who encouraged you to marry "well." If you're anything like me, of course you scoffed at the strong whiff of "gold digger" this advice gave off. You weren't in it for money or security (how old fashioned!). You were in it for love. Besides, you're a modern woman and can take care of yourself just fine, thank you very much. So, like me, you too have probably spent too many years with a guy who it turned out was never going to marry you (of course he ended up marrying the very next girl he dated after only six months), dated "the love of your life" artist/musician/writer who was chronically underemployed (which was so cool and anti-establishment when you were 20, but smacked of irresponsible loser when you were 30), or really thought you'd found "The One" only to find out he was cheating on you. All of which leads to people buying you spinster cat lady tote bags and drinking alone on Friday nights. So what's the point of this little waltz down memory lane? Aside from the obvious fun of picking at old scabs, I mean? Well, I'm older now and, every once in a while, wiser. Today I had a moment of wisdom. It came to me, as most of my best thoughts do, while having cocktails with a friend. Here it is: If I had taken that advice I'd be divorced by now. Yes, that's right. And cashing my alimony checks. Oh sure, I'd still be drinking alone on Friday nights, but the wine would be so much more expensive.

Okay, I'm Putting It Out There

A friend of mine, I'll call her Perky Patti, recently told me that I should not discount the possibility of hooking up with David Tennant because, in her words "stranger things have happened." Somehow I doubt it since David is known to date hot, young blonde girls and I'm well, not hot, not young, not blonde (spinster cat lady, remember?) Anyway, Perky Patti said I should just "put it out there." So, here I am putting it out there. Since I want to give the Universe a little wiggle room, I offer a description of the basic qualities I would want in a man generally--just in case Mr. Tennant is busy (with a blonde, I'm sure). You will note there are a number of caveats. At first glance this may seem like overkill, but I happen to know the Universe has a really wicked sense of humor. If you aren't really specific, the Universe will use it against you. Although I'm skeptical, here goes.

Dear Universe:

Please send me one British man. Must be gainfully employed, single, straight, free of STDs, well-educated, non-violent, of solid moral character, non-addicted, non-misogynist, non-ego maniac, non-nazi, non criminal, non-lunatic with common sense and a good sense of humor. Must enjoy travel, wine and/or beer and/or cocktails. Interest in history/literature/politics/art/fine dining a plus. Must be willing to learn to love NFL football. Must be hopelessly in love with me, forsaking all others, as long as he lives. Strong resemblance to David Tennant a plus. Actually being David Tennant preferred (unless of course David Tennant is actually a misogynistic, ego-maniacal, crack-addicted, lunatic queen with the clap).


Thank you for your time.


xoxo


Helen

Hum4God

As you know I hate people. And here's just one more reason why. So, I'm driving along and I see a Hummer H2 with the license plate Hum4God. Really? Really? Look arrogant, religious vanity plates annoy me anyway, but you are driving a Hummer, mother f-er. A HUMMER. I'm pretty sure God is going to smite you for fucking up his planet.