Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Help people. Sure...whatever.

So…I signed up to be a Big Sister. Sounds good, right? Hang out with a kid, do fun stuff on the weekends…Disneyland, movies, museums. Things you would do if you had kids of your own (which you might if you hadn't wasted seven of your best years with a Rat Bastard, but I digress...) Anyway, it sounds great, right? Maybe even make a difference right? Well, I signed up and I got a kid who doesn’t speak to me. Now I realize she’s had a hell of a life, so cut her some slack right? Never mind that she doesn't so much as say goodbye (I'm easy, I wasn't expecting a thank you) when I drop her off. She's troubled, cut her some slack right? You try spending an entire afternoon (your precious weekend afternoon, no less) with a child who may or may not be having fun, who may or may not actually like you, who will barely answer direct questions. You have your choice of either awkward silence or your own even more awkward rambling. Sound fun? Well, how about this? Apparently, she’s been kicked out of school for shooting a kid in the head with a BB gun. What luck! I mean she doesn't speak, possibly hates me and she has some violent tendencies. I don't care if it is only a BB gun. I'm pretty sure she could kick my ass if she wanted.

This isn't the first time my attempt at being a do-gooder has failed. I tried teaching adult literacy classes once…not so much fun. Most people drop out after a couple of weeks. One dude showed up (clearly baked) every few weeks. Who stays? The guy who needs to finish the class as a requirement for something else he’s doing…he’s in a hurry to get through and finish…does he care if he actually learns anything? Oh hell no. How rewarding was this experience for me? Not much. Now here I am a Big Sister. Rewarding? Not much, but at least I haven't been shot yet. Obviously I should get over the whole bleeding heart thing and just write a check at the end of the year like normal people.


Have I mentioned that I hate people? Not all people, of course. There are individual people I actually like very much. Alex O'Loughlin, for example. I'm also quite fond of several members of my family, and most of my friends. In general, however, I hate people. Mostly because people are stupid. And it isn’t just American people either (though we certainly do have more than our share). In Paris I found myself in the Louvre surrounded by (mostly) European tourists who insisted upon taking flash photos throughout the museum, despite the fact that signs everywhere specifically say “No Flash Photos.” In the US when you take a flash photo in a museum a large guy in a suit appears out of nowhere and threatens to confiscate your camera and imprison you (or at least kick you out.) In Paris, despite exorbitant museum entrance fees, there seemed to be no security staff whatsoever to enforce the ban on flash photos. Hey, Stupid Flash Photo Taking Morons, you are ruining priceless art! Stop it! Buy a postcard in the gift shop if you must, but stop taking photos. Just one small example of why I hate people.

Oh, btw, if you are wondering why someone who hates people so much is spending a fortune on grad school so she can go into a “helping” profession, well…it’s a question I’ve been asking myself lately and I have no good answer. Clearly mistakes have been made.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Post-Paris Post

So a lot has happened since my last entry. Well, actually considering it was two months ago not that much has happened. I did go to Paris for my birthday. It was a fantastic trip! I absolutely loved Paris. It is a great city in which to be alone. The beauty of the city is astounding, the museums amazing and the food...well I could write pages about the butter alone. I realized while I was there the weather perfectly matched my mood for the past two years...mostly grey with the occasional patch of blue sky and sun. Of course I spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my life (or lack thereof) and what I want from it. It seems one should have goals...something to work toward. After much thought, I think I've found one: I'd like to win lotto. Not some scratch ticket either. I want all the numbers, plus the Power Ball. Not just because I'm greedy (trust me, I'd set up some foundations, contribute to my favorite charities, put a few kids through college), but because I really just want the freedom to be able to say fuck you whenever I want, to whomever I want. When it comes right down to it, this is what everyone wants.

At some point someone (katedating.blogspot.com) blog tagged me and said I had to reveal seven previously unknown things about myself. I know it has been a while, but here they are:
1) I've both hitchhiked and picked up a hitchhiker. Scary, huh?
2) I still have the notes my friends wrote to me in high school. Never know when I may have the opportunity to blackmail someone... ;)
3) I am haunted by the fact that I have never cleaned the coils on my refrigerator which I fear may lead to its untimely demise.
4) During the second half of the basketball season I developed a slight crush on Duke's Greg Paulus who is not only too young, but also sort of goofy looking (in a very cute and totally hot way!) so I guess I'm not only a pervert, but have questionable taste as well. I'm okay with it though. I'm not okay with Duke losing in the second round of the tournament, but that's another story.
5) I really enjoy arguing about politics. Sometimes I argue positions I don't even believe just to get a rise out of people. It is so much fun!
6) Even though I'm a huge supporter of alcohol, I really like Shirley Temples.
7) I have spent obscene amounts of money on wine. Seriously, you think you know, but you don't! It isn't that any one purchase was horribly egregious, it is just when you add it up, well...let me just say even I was a little unsettled.