Saturday, February 9, 2013

New Lows

The question of where I went wrong in life has haunted me for a long time. I'm pretty sure I ended up where I am because of a million small choices, rather than one colossal error in judgment, but this insight has so far failed to help me right the ship. Indeed, I am reaching new lows. For example, the other day my friend, Dee, and I drank Sutter Home Pinot Grigio from single serve bottles with straws in the parking structure at work. Let's break down all the ways this is wrong. And by wrong, I don't mean drinking on the job. That's the only thing right about this situation. 1) Pinot Grigio is just about the last wine I ever want to drink. Of course since I now regularly consume PBR, it is obvious that I'm willing to drink anything as long as it contains alcohol. 2) Sutter Home is not exactly quality wine. Then again, if I wanted quality, I wouldn't be drinking Pinot Grigio. 3) We were drinking with straws. This, my friends, is a true sign of class and sophistication as is 4) We were in a parking structure. Sure we used lunch at Craft and dine at Mozza, drink Burgundy and Brunello, but look at us now--drinking plonk through a straw in a parking structure. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Today, Sutter Home. Tomorrow, Mad Dog 20/20. Pass me that bottle. And a's to new lows!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Apart From the Killing, of Course

So I realize my sanity has been in question for some time, but I'm wondering: how bad is it that I seem to have developed a thing for a serial killer? Could this be a sign I've finally gone around the bend? Now, to be fair, the serial killer in question is a fictional character--Joe Carroll from Fox's new show The Following. The first time I told someone I had a thing for Joe, she asked if I meant the actor, James Purefoy, who plays Joe. I had to admit I meant the character. Don't get me wrong--Mr. Purefoy is lovely to look at, even more lovely to listen to and plays the character quite exquisitely, but Joe does it for me. He's a professor of literature--which is like crack to me. In flashback scenes where we see him teaching he is, without question, the man I would conjure if I were asked to describe my idea of the perfect man. Apart from the killing, of course. The accent is certainly part of it (Purefoy is British), but also the intensity, the passion, the way he commands a room...he is charismatic and brilliant. And there is nothing more sexy on a man than brilliance. A few Google searches have assured me that I'm not alone in my love of Joe Carroll. Which makes me feel a little less insane. Of course we are meant to love Joe...if we didn't, how could we believe his followers would do what they're doing for him? He has to be charming, sexy and charismatic or the story doesn't have legs. Still, it raises questions. What if you found the perfect person and then found out something about them was morally abhorrent to you? Not necessarily killing, just something you feel is wrong? Does that change the way you feel about them? Can you still love them in spite of it? Something to ponder. Meanwhile, I'll be trolling the internet for Joe Carroll fanfic and waiting for the next episode of The Following. Joe Carroll is perfect. Apart from the killing, of course.