Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Mistakes Were Made

Remember when you were young, like just starting college or maybe even just finishing undergrad? Recall how you felt like you had your whole life ahead of you? You were bursting with potential…the world was your oyster, the possibilities were endless. Then life happened and things maybe didn’t go quite as planned. Now here you are fantasizing about winning lotto because all that potential didn’t really amount to anything and you realize that winning ticket has become your last best hope--your ticket out of the job you hate and into the life you always thought you would have. Do you ever wonder how it is you ended up here? I mean was there one huge mistake you made that lead you down this path or was it a series of small missteps? Would my life be different if I hadn’t blown off the guy I met at the orientation dance during my freshman year of college? If I hadn’t started hanging out with guys in rock bands? If I had taken the job at my university instead of in the office downtown? If I’d gone to law school? If I hadn’t broken up with the boyfriend before the Rat Bastard? If I’d never met the Rat Bastard? If he’d never broken up with me? Am I somehow where I’m supposed to be? (What a cruel joke that would be!) Because I can assure you this is not where I ever imagined I’d be. I keep waiting for my “real life” to start, but as John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” And all that "I've got my whole life ahead of me" optimism is fast becoming frantic despair--hence Lotto as a viable option. As I’ve said before, mistakes were made. I just wish I knew exactly what they were so I could undo them!


Dee Murray said...

I so agree!! Does the road to ruin lead one through a forest of bad decisions, or is this exactly where the Universe wants me to be because there is a grander plan? Of course, with my luck the grander plan will be for someone else and I play just a minor character!

Kate, Dating in LA said...

This is really tricky. I made some obvious mistakes. Two really big ones, both pertaining to life with The Ex. But I have to believe that the lottery, and perhaps George Clooney, still await. I want to be able to get to the point where I say "Oh! That's where all this was leading".

Helen said...

Dee--Oh no! Thanks to your comment I'm now thinking that perhaps my purpose in life is only as supporting cast for others. I've been laboring under the delusion that I'm the star of my own one woman show, but perhaps I'm just a bit player. It really would explain a lot of things!