Friday, March 20, 2009

Okay, I'm Putting It Out There

A friend of mine, I'll call her Perky Patti, recently told me that I should not discount the possibility of hooking up with David Tennant because, in her words "stranger things have happened." Somehow I doubt it since David is known to date hot, young blonde girls and I'm well, not hot, not young, not blonde (spinster cat lady, remember?) Anyway, Perky Patti said I should just "put it out there." So, here I am putting it out there. Since I want to give the Universe a little wiggle room, I offer a description of the basic qualities I would want in a man generally--just in case Mr. Tennant is busy (with a blonde, I'm sure). You will note there are a number of caveats. At first glance this may seem like overkill, but I happen to know the Universe has a really wicked sense of humor. If you aren't really specific, the Universe will use it against you. Although I'm skeptical, here goes.

Dear Universe:

Please send me one British man. Must be gainfully employed, single, straight, free of STDs, well-educated, non-violent, of solid moral character, non-addicted, non-misogynist, non-ego maniac, non-nazi, non criminal, non-lunatic with common sense and a good sense of humor. Must enjoy travel, wine and/or beer and/or cocktails. Interest in history/literature/politics/art/fine dining a plus. Must be willing to learn to love NFL football. Must be hopelessly in love with me, forsaking all others, as long as he lives. Strong resemblance to David Tennant a plus. Actually being David Tennant preferred (unless of course David Tennant is actually a misogynistic, ego-maniacal, crack-addicted, lunatic queen with the clap).


Thank you for your time.


xoxo


Helen

1 comment:

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