Friday, February 8, 2008

Valentine's Day Hell

I am in hell and I can’t seem to escape it. Every time I turn around there’s another TV commercial, billboard or window display reminding that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Yes, I will be alone on Valentine’s Day and the Universe has missed no opportunity to rub it in. Okay, I will admit that I’ve pretty much been in a relationship of one sort or another for most of my adult Valentine’s Days and had been so busy naively baking heart shaped cookies for the Rat Bastard, I never noticed how insidious this “holiday” really is.

Every online merchant I’ve ever shopped with is sending me emails suggesting gifts for that special someone. I mean every online merchant. Not just Godiva, but Pottery Barn and OnlineShoes.com. Who knew UGG boots were a Valentine’s Day tradition? Of course now that I think about it they were pretty cute and, since I’m the special someone I’ll be shopping for, maybe I should take another look at that email... but I digress. The scariest Valentine’s Day plug I've been assaulted with was the radio commercial for KY Jelly I heard this morning. Yes, that’s right KY Jelly wants to be part of your Valentine’s Day festivities. The fact that they were playing an ad for personal lubrication products was disturbing enough on its own. What really got me was the realization that, at the rate things are going, by the time I have sex again KY Jelly will no longer be a racy option. It will, sadly, be a necessity.

3 comments:

D. Murray said...

I can't actually believe the FCC allows radio porn! That has got to be the most disgusting commercial on the air! I must avoid at all costs...! EVIL, EVIL!! Naughty! Naughty! oh wait...is that the point? :-)

Kate, Dating in LA said...

LOL!! Every year I have sent out kiddie valentine cards to my single friends (and others who just think I'm nuts). I wasn't going to do it this year, but now I'm not sure.

danielletbd said...

I surfed onto your blog from kate, dating in la's site, and I love your tag under your title. Reminds me of a quote I read in a book once: "Life is too short to deal with @$$holes who don't pay you... and even THEY have limits."

:)